Lotus awakened. She looked around the room and saw Kim and Black were still asleep, but there was no sign of Liz. She got up and put on her uniform. She decided to go to the dining-room, as she thought Liz might be having breakfast there. She lit a cigarette and left the room. She walked down the narrow cave and entered the large cave where several people were busy training in hand-to-hand combat. "Hey!" someone yelled as she passed them. "You're new around here, aren't you?"

"Yes, so what?" she bluntly replied.

"I hear you're from south of the empire." he said.

"Get to the point, will you.?"

"It's just that I've never beaten someone from the south up, that's all." he said with a mischievous grin on his face.

This remark filled Lotus with anger and hatred. She started walking up to the man with hatred in her eyes. "Hey, I….I was only joking….." the man said when he saw the anger in her eyes. "I….I didn't mean anything by it…"

These were the last words the man uttered before she broke his nose and kicked out three teeth. She had to be restrained by three others, still wanting to attack the unconscious man who was lying on the floor, bleeding. Some people came running from the dining-room, Sabathan among them. He took her away from the others and tried to calm her down. "What happened?" he yelled to a witness standing nearby.

"He…he made a joke, about how he had never beaten someone from the South and then she went ballistic."

Sabathan slowly removed Lotus from the scene, supporting her with his arm. "I'm…I'm sorry…" she said, starting to sob. "It's just when someone reminds me of what has happened there, I….I just get so angry."

"It's OK," he replied. "It was his own fault, only you might have overreacted a bit."

They entered the dining-room. Liz, who had been having breakfast, immediately ran up to them. "What happened?" She asked.

"She had a bit of a skirmish with a young man who had a loose tongue." Sabathan replied.

"Oh, Lotus; we have to do something about that temper of yours." Liz said. "Come, sit down over here, I'll fetch you a glass of water."

"Better make it something stronger." said Sabathan.

Liz hurried away and Sabathan sat her down, and placed himself next to her. "You'll make a fine addition to our forces, but you have to learn to control yourself, or we'll end up with a toothless army." he said, smiling at her.

"I know…." She said, trying to smile, but still sobbing.

Liz returned with a large mug, filled with whisky. Lotus drank it as quick as she could. "Take it easy!" said Liz, smiling at her.

"When are we going to take the test?" Lotus asked Sabathan, feeling better again.

"In an hour or so, my men are putting up an obstacle course in the main cave as we speak." he replied. "I suggest if you want to eat something, you do it now. You can't run and jump with a full stomach."

She thought he was right and asked an elderly man to get her something warm and tasty. The man suggested a stew and she agreed.

After a few minutes, Kim and Black entered the room. "Some guy is lying on the floor with a bunch of medics hanging over him." said Kim, unaware of the events that had taken place.

Liz quickly took her and Black out of hearing distance of Lotus and informed them about the situation. Afterwards, Kim walked up to Lotus and put her arm around her. She tried to comfort Lotus by saying that it was alright and that that man had it coming; it didn't cheer her up very much, but Lotus did like all the attention. She ate her meal in silence, as did the others. When she had finished, she lit a cigarette and asked the small boy from the day before to bring her some beer. "What kind of tests are we going to have to take?" she asked Sabathan.

"You have to fight someone in hand-to-hand combat," he answered, adding with a grin. "but I don't think that will be a problem for you."

"Do you have to win?"

"No, you just have to prove you're a good fighter, that's all." he replied. "Next you have to run an obstacle course in a certain amount of time and then you have to prove you're a good marksman."

"That's it?"

"Well, basically, yes. Of course you still have to pass a small written test; you do know how to write, do you?"

"Of course!" she replied, a little offended.

"It's nothing personal," He quickly said, noticing she had taken offence to his remark. "It's just that I encounter more and more people who have trouble with it. Some of them are even completely unable to read and write."

"Sorry, I didn't know that." she apologized. "And afterwards?"

"Afterwards, I have a meeting with the other lords."

"To discuss if we were up to standard?"

"Yes, and if you are, you'll have to take a small oath and then you're one of us."

"What kind of oath?" she asked, getting a bit suspicious.

"That you'll fight the Empress whenever and however possible, that you show respect to your fellow soldiers and so on and so forth."

"So nothing about being one of you forever and that if I try to leave you I'll be crucified and set afire or something?"

"No," he said, starting to laugh. "nothing like that."

"Oh, OK, then it's alright. Don't get the wrong impression; I really want in, I just want to be able to leave you someday, if I feel a need to."

"Of course, it doesn't happen very often, though, that someone leaves us. Of course, if you really want to, there is no way we can stop you."

A man came up to Sabathan and told them everything was set. They all rose from their chairs and followed the man into the main cave. "Why do we have to do the written test last?" Lotus asked Sabathan. "I mean, it would be more logical to me if we did that first."

"Yes, it would seem that way," he answered. "but we do it last because we have no use for intelligent people who collapse after the tiniest amount of physical exercise."

This all seemed very logical to her now. Kim went first. She had to fight a large older woman. Lotus guessed her to be at least thirty-five. Kim had some trouble with her, receiving some blows to her mid-section, but eventually beat her quite easily. She then had to run the obstacle course, and ran it almost flawlessly, only having some trouble walking across a beam. Immediately afterwards, Kim had to prove her marksmanship, which seemed adequate to Lotus.

As Kim started her written test, it was Black's turn to fight. Black beat her opponent with ease, and aced the obstacle course; only her shooting was a little off-target.

Now Liz was up; she had to fight a small woman, about her own size. Liz had quite some trouble with her opponent and ended up losing the match. She ran the obstacle course with relative ease, however, and her shooting was up to par.

Now it was Lotus' turn; she had to fight a woman about her own age. The woman looked much better then the opponents her friends had to fight, but because of what had happened earlier this day, she wasn't surprised by it. The woman had obviously heard about the incident, since she looked scared to death; she wasn't scared for long though, since she was lying on the ground after a few seconds.

The obstacle course was harder than Lotus thought it would be, and she was panting like a dog afterwards. She had done it quite well, but not as good or as fast as the others, though she thought her great performance at the preceding test would be enough to compensate for it. Now she had to prove her marksmanship; her aim turned out to be excellent and she even received a small round of applause afterwards.

The written test turned out to be a piece of cake; nothing but stupid questions on how to clean your gun, how to find your way at night and what an AK-47 was; she finished it in no time. Lotus was confident that she had passed all the tests as she followed the other women into the dining-room.

"I'm going to the meeting now, though I think you've nothing to worry about." Sabathan said. "I'll be back in an hour or so, just relax around here."

She only nodded in reply. After he had left the room, she joined the others and they talked about their performances on the various tests. After some time she got bored by the chatter and turned her head away from the other women. Since she was sitting on the far right and her input had been minimal anyway, the others hardly noticed it. She signaled the small boy. "You did great on the tests." he said as he approached, appearing truly impressed by her performance. "And the guy you beat up this morning was an asshole anyway."

"Thank you." Lotus replied, smiling at him.

She looked at the small boy and guessed him to be 8 or 9. "What can I get you?" He asked her.

"Beer would be nice." she replied.

The boy quickly went on his way. Suddenly someone sat down next to her; she looked over and saw it was Ister. "You did very good on the tests." he said, smiling at her. "Especially on hand-to-hand combat."

She looked at him; he was a large man with long black hair and a face that was not at all unpleasant to look at. He had a twinkle in his eye that concerned her, though. "Thank you." she replied. "I'm glad you think so."

He said, "You know, you have beauti…"

"Ah, here you are." a woman suddenly interrupted; it was the one Kim had fought earlier on. "The lords have finished their meeting and are expecting you in the main cave."

She was extremely glad the woman interrupted her, since she had no interest in Ister. He was looking quite disgruntled, however, at being interrupted in the middle of trying to pick her up. They got up and followed the woman, who introduced herself as Emma, into the main cave.

"Ah, they're here." said Sabathan.

"Please line up in front of the lords." said Emma.

Lotus did what was asked and lined up with the other women. Across from them stood the lords, also lined up. "It is an honor and a pleasure that I can announce you've all passed." said Sabathan. "We have decided to pass you all, on the condition that Liz works on her hand-to-hand, Kim works on her knowledge and Black works on her marksmanship."

"Now for the oath." said another lord.

Emma walked up to them and handed each of them a small document. "Read these carefully." she said to them.

Lotus started reading all sorts of bull about loyalty and honor, but she could detect nothing that would force her to stay within the organization. Emma gave each of them a pen. "Sign it," said Sabathan, smiling. "and you're one of us."

Kim and Black immediately signed the document; Lotus hesitated for a moment, as did Liz, who was looking at her with concern. Lotus decided that it was too late to quit now and signed the paper; as soon as she did, Liz signed as well. Emma collected the documents and left the cave. "Now," Said Sabathan. "place your hand over your heart and repeat after me."

They all did as he said. "I," said Sabathan.

"I," they repeated in unison.

"State your name."

They all stated their names, except for Kim who went "Sta, uh.. Kimberley."

"Do hearby solemnly swear,"

"Do hearby solemnly swear,"

This went on for a few minutes, covering all the points on the document. Afterwards, all the lords congratulated them individually and they walked into the dining-room, where a feast had been prepared for them. Lotus sat down between Liz and a woman she didn't know and lit a cigarette. Servants started bringing in roasted pigs and chickens from the kitchen. She ate and drank in relative silence, since Liz was occupied with Kim, who was sitting next to Liz, and she had no intentions to get acquainted with the woman who sat next to her. When Lotus was finished with her meal, she asked the small boy to bring her a large mug of whisky and lit another cigarette.

"Why did you hesitate when you had to sign the document?" Liz suddenly asked her.

"I….I don't know, it's just that it all was so easy. Maybe I was just being paranoid." she replied.

"I know, I had the same feeling. That's why I waited for you to sign, because, no offense, you're the only intelligent person next to me in our party." said Liz, suddenly putting her arm around Lotus' waist.

"I know." she replied, slightly startled by Liz' sudden touch.

Liz moved her lips close to Lotus' ear. "I love you," she whispered. "I love you and I want you."

Shocked, Lotus quickly pushed Liz away. "What…..what are you saying? Do you have any idea what you're saying?" she whispered, angry and surprised at the same time.

"Of course I know what I'm saying." Liz replied, placing her hand on her knee.

"I know I never told you this, but I love someone else." Lotus said.

"I know and I don't care, I've got plenty of love for both of us." Liz replied, moving closer to her again.

Lotus quickly got up and left the dining-room. She walked through the cave that connected the two large ones and entered the main cave, then suddenly stopped and turned around. Just as she had expected, Liz had followed her. "What is it you want?" she asked, despair in her voice.

"You know what I want. I want you." said Liz, smiling at her with a look in her eyes that Lotus couldn't explain but it scared her to death.

Liz slowly approached her; Lotus didn't know what to do. Suddenly, without any reason that she could think of, she hit Liz in the face with a flat hand. This seemed to bring Liz out of her trance; she looked at the ground, rubbing her reddening cheek with one of her hands and slowly starting to sob. Lotus walked up to her and embraced her. She started to cry as well; both women crying out of shame, Liz for what she did and Lotus because she blamed herself for Liz's actions. "Come on, let's go back to the dining-room." she said.

Liz only nodded, and they headed back together, Lotus' arm around Liz' waist for support.

When they returned, Sabathan walked up to Lotus right away. "Come with me." he said. "The meeting is about to start."

"You'll be alright, won't you?" she whispered to Liz, releasing her.

Liz nodded. Luckily Kim had noticed something was wrong with her friend and immediately came over and started comforting her. Lotus lit a cigarette and followed Sabathan. They walked through the kitchen, which was being cleaned by a few servants, and entered a poorly lit room through a small gate at the back of the kitchen. Inside the room was a round table with about 20 chairs, nine of which were occupied. Sabathan asked her to tell them what she knew about the palace and the Empress. Lotus told them everything. All the lords were astounded by the detailed description of the palace and her tales of what the empress did made their hatred towards the woman swell. When she was finished, she was feeling sad again, but was far removed from crying. She lit another cigarette while the lords were talking about the information she had provided them. A elderly lady entered the room, pushing a small cart with liquid refreshments; when the lady was standing next to her, Lotus asked for a double whisky and a pack of cigarettes. The lady gave her what she had asked for, then served the others; when she had rolled her cart out of the room, Sabathan stood up. "Ladies and gentlemen!" he said. "May I please have your attention?"

The talking slowly died out. "This is the moment we have been waiting for." he went on. "With this information, we can plan the assassination of our most hated foe."

The other lords cheered. When they were silent again, he revealed his plan. He wanted to take four squads, including his own and Lotus', and go to the city in disguise. When it was dark, the two other squads were to create a diversion by the front gate. This would lure most of the guards away from the back. Then Lotus' squad would enter the castle through one of the windows while his squad would guard them, then Lotus would have to use her knowledge of the castle to find the Empress and kill her. (Lotus, of course, knew she would not leave without Brianna.) Sabathan said he planned the operation to take place in one week, when there was almost no moon, but enough light to guide them through the night.

All of the lords agreed on the plan, as did Lotus. The lords all started talking to each other again. Lotus decided not to get carried away in some meaningless conversation on the probability of their succeeding in killing the Empress and left the room. Sabathan followed her. "What do you think?" he asked.

"I think we have a mediocre chance of success." she pessimistically replied.

"What, do you have a better plan?" he said, sounding slightly offended.

"No, no I don't, but that doesn't mean I can't be realistic; there are a thousand and one things that can go wrong."

"I guess you're right. I just got carried away by my own excitement."

"Even if the plan had a bad chance of succeeding, I would go along with it, though." Lotus said. "What would I have to lose?"

"Your life." Sabathan said sarcastically.

"So? Nothing I care about." She replied, answered his sarcasm with her own.

"I…I didn't realize you thought about life like that." he said, sounding a little shocked by her remark.

"When you've seen and done what I have, the line between life and death becomes surprisingly thin." she replied.

"Well, let's just hope everything goes according to plan."

"Yeah, you do that." she answered, still feeling sad and now lonesome because she had no one to share her experiences with; at least no one who would understand her.

Sabathan bid her goodnight and Lotus did the same. She walked to her room, picking up a bottle of whisky in the kitchen. As she entered the room, the other women where already there. Liz was taking a shower in the small bathroom, Black sat on her bed in her underwear reading a book and Kim was brushing up on her knowledge of weaponry, like the lords had asked her to. Lotus looked at Black for a few moments, admiring her beauty, before she walked up to her bed and sat down on it. "How did it go?" asked Black, looking up from her book with a smile on her face.

"Great, just great." she replied, still feeling sorry for herself.

"So, what's the plan?"

"In one week we go to the palace and kill the Empress." she said, as if it were nothing.

"What?" Black said, looking at her in surprise. "You're kidding, right?"

"You are, aren't you?" added Kim, who was shocked by the news as well.

"Nope. In one week we're going to the city and then when night falls, we penetrate the castle and kill her." "What do you mean by we?" asked Black. "How many squads?"

"Just one; ours. Two other squads will create a diversion and Sabathan's will guard our escape route."

"This is just too good." said Black, shaking her head. "We're all going to die."

"What do you mean?" asked Liz, who had just entered the room and hadn't overheard the discussion. "Why are we going to die?"

Kim informed her of the plan. Liz just shrugged her shoulders. "Sounds like a good plan to me."

Lotus couldn't help but stare at Liz, since Liz was only wearing a towel around her waist. When Liz noticed Lotus staring at her, she quickly put on a T-shirt, but was smiling as she did. This brought Lotus out of it again; she was glad Liz's bed was on the other side of the room, therefore making it was impossible for …..accidents to occur. She opened the bottle of whisky, took a large swig and handed it to Black, who was reaching out to her for it. The bottle went around the room a couple of times until it was empty. Lotus laid down on the bed and closed her eyes.

Lotus awakened. She looked around the room, Liz and Black were gone and Kim was still sleeping. She rose from her bed and stretched her muscles. She lighted a cigarette and walked out her room towards the dining-room. She saw Liz and Black were having breakfast and she joined them. "Good morning." she said.

Both women replied the same. She ordered some sandwiches and discussed the mission with Liz and Black. The outcome was that it was doubtful that they would succeed, but it was their only chance.

When she had finished her breakfast, Sabathan walked up to them. "Come with me." he said to them. "I've got something for you."

The women got up and followed him. He led them to a small gate in the main cave, which Lotus had never noticed before. He opened the gate and stretched out his arm. "Ladies first." he said, smiling at them.

They entered the cave; it was filled with boxes and racks of guns and clothing. "I thought it was time you received your uniforms." Sabathan said, still smiling.

He handed each of them a small bundle. "I'll take Kim's and give it to her later." said Liz.

Sabathan nodded and gave her a second bundle. "Now for your weapons; we've been saving these for a long time." he said, pointing to a small rack which was bolted against the wall.

"What's so special about them?" Lotus asked.

"The guns themselves aren't particularly special, but we've found silencers for them," he replied. "so if you encounter some resistance inside the palace, you'll be able to handle it without attracting the attention of every guard in the area."

"I think our odds are improving by the minute." said Black, with a smile.

Sabathan took the guns from the rack and gave two to Lotus and two to Black, then he took four ammo-belts from a box that was sitting on the floor beneath the rack and laid them on top of the two bundles Liz was carrying. "Do you need anything else?" he asked.

"I could use some cigarettes." Lotus said. Sabathan walked over to another box and picked up a carton of cigarettes, which he laid on the bundle of clothing she was carrying. "Anything else?"

"Well, we're out of whisky."

"And do you guys have marijuana?" asked Liz. "It's been ages since I smoked that."

"And do you have any chocolate?" added Black, with a naughty smile on her face.

"I think we can manage all that. Anything else?" he replied, adding with a smile. "Maybe my boots and my granny's gold teeth?"

"No, no that about covers it." Lotus said, holding back her laughter as well as she could.

"Fine, I'll send all that stuff over later." Sabathan replied.

Lotus walked out of the small cave; the other two followed her. "I'm going back to the cave to put on my uniform." said Black.

"I'm not; I'm going to carry this stuff around for a few hours." said Liz.

"No need to be sarcastic," replied Black angrily. "I was just…."

"Cut it out." Lotus interrupted. "No need to start a fight."

They walked back to their room; when they entered, they saw that Kim was in the shower. Lotus sat down on her bed and took off all of her clothes except her underwear. She noticed Black was staring at her. Black walked up to Lotus and stroked her cheek. Liz was looking jealously at them. "No." Lotus whispered.

"Why not?" asked Black.

"You know very well why not." she said, pushing Black's arm away.

Liz suddenly walked up to Black and embraced her. "Just close your eyes and pretend I'm her." she whispered to Black.

Black shut her eyes and slowly their lips met; they kissed passionately. Lotus looked at the two and started to feel sad again.

Kim walked out of the bathroom and nearly had a heart attack. "What……what the fuck is going on around here?" she stammered.

By this time, Liz had laid Black down on a bed and started to undress her, their lips still locked. Kim was staring at the whole spectacle with disgust in her eyes. Lotus saw it was time to do something. "Kim!" she called out.

Kim looked at her and Lotus threw Kim's bundle over to her. They both quickly put on their new uniforms. When they were finished getting dressed, Liz was almost done undressing Black. "Let's get the fuck out of here." Kim said, shaking her head at the two women.

They quickly left the room. "What….what's happening? What were they…?" Kim faltered.

"Shhhhh." Lotus interrupted. "Not here; let's go outside, where it's safe to talk. I don't know what the other lords would do if they were to find out what's….what's…… going on."

In the narrow cave, they passed a old woman who was carrying a box. "Hey!" Lotus called out, suddenly realizing it might be what they had ordered earlier. "Where are you taking that stuff?"

"Number 12." the old lady answered.

Lotus walked up to the woman and took out two bottles of whisky. "It's OK, I'm in number 12." she said to the woman, who looked at her like she was a thief. "Just leave the rest of the stuff outside the door, OK?"

"OK," the woman answered. "If you say so."

Lotus joined Kim again; they walked through the main cave, turned left and walked out of the hide-out. They walked into a small forest; at the center was a lake with a stony beach. She sat down on a rock overlooking the lake; Kim sat down next to her. "What, what were they doing?" Kim asked with a tremble in her voice.

Lotus opened both bottles of whisky and handed one to Kim. "Liz was trying to make me jealous." she said with a tear running down her cheek.

"But….but why?" Kim asked.

"And Black just wanted to make love." she said, ignoring Kim's question. "Make love to……..me."

"So….so you're telling me it's all your fault?" Kim asked, surprised.

"Yes, it's all my fault." she replied, starting to cry.

Kim put her arm around her. "But you can't help it, you didn't force them to…. " she said, trying to comfort her.

"I know, I know. It's just that if I hadn't been around they would have never been doing what they are doing now."

"You don't know that for sure, but what I do know for sure is that if you hadn't been around they'd both be dead."

"Dead….. I wish I was….. dead." Lotus said softly.

"Don't say things like that, you're a hero, you saved their lives. And not only theirs, you saved mine too." Kim said, gently shaking Lotus to snap her out of her funk.

Lotus took a large swig of whisky and lit a cigarette. "I guess….. I guess you're right."

"I can't blame them for their behavior, though, not after what you have told me." Kim said. "I must admit that in the beginning, I was attracted to you, too."

"You were?" Lotus asked, a little surprised.

"Yeah, but it just didn't feel right. I don't mean that I think it's wrong, but the reason why is."

"What, what do you mean?" Lotus asked, taking another swig of whisky.

"I wasn't attracted to you because of your looks, not that there's anything wrong with them, or by your personality or by…by whatever."

"Why? Why were you then?"

"That's just it; I don't know why!" Kim said. "No matter how bad you looked, what you were doing you looked attractive. It wasn't your fault, but you just did!"

"Then why aren't you anymore?"

"I… I don't know, but once I realized why I was attracted to you, all of a sudden, I wasn't anymore……."

A silence fell between them. They looked at the lake and enjoyed its beauty. Lotus was thinking of Liz and Black and imagined how they must be feeling by now. This brought tears to her eyes again, though she didn't cry. She just drank her whisky, and so did Kim. She drank until she could hear Kim snore, then drank until she passed out.

When Lotus regained consciousness, it was completely dark, except for the light of the moon and the stars. Her whole body was hurting from sleeping on a bunch of pebbles. She looked at Kim, who was still asleep, and slowly got up. She looked at the lake again; it was even more beautiful now that you could see the moon and stars in it. She pushed Kim with her foot, and got a soft moan in reply; she pushed a little harder. "What…..?" Kim moaned and opened her eyes. "Where….where am I?"

This remark made Lotus laugh. "What's so funny?" Kim asked.

She didn't reply and just helped Kim get up. "Oh….I remember it again." Kim said. "For a split second there, I thought it had all just been a bad dream."

"No…no, your bad dream is my actual life." Lotus replied and started to laugh.

Kim joined her; after their laughter had died out, they started to walk back towards the cave. Since they were still a little tipsy, they bumped into a tree or two, but they reached the cave without injuring themselves. A guard opened the gate for them. "What time is it?" Lotus asked him.

"Quarter past two." the guard answered, a bit surprised by the question.

They walked up to the door of the room. "Here we go." Lotus said, pushing down the handle of the door.

It was dark in the room, so she lit a candle. To her relief, both of the women were asleep in their own beds. "Thank God," said Kim. "Let's just go to sleep and deal with the situation tomorrow."

"My thoughts exactly." she replied.

Lotus laid down on her bed, feeling her soft mattress absorb the pain from her nap on the stony beach. She blew out the candle and closed her eyes.